


Professor Mills

by Skye_La



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Crossover, Magic, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Multi, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 08:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3061640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_La/pseuds/Skye_La
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Professor Mills is the new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher at marauders era Hogwarts. Formerly of Beauxbatons, with a stint at Durmstrang, she hopes she can make Hogwarts her home and gets more than she bargained for with her lively sixth year students.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Once Upon A Time/Harry Potter (marauder era) crossover, but everything is more or less Harry Potter canon compliant. I hope you enjoy reading, it was a lot of fun to write!

The new professor strode into the entrance hall, her green high heels clacked on the ancient stone flags as she stepped. She wore a long, dark travel coat with a thick fur collar to guard against the cold of September in the Highlands. Her angled hat sported a long silver and green hippogriff feather. She turned her head to look into the Great Hall. The Sorting ceremony had begun. Her dark lips smiled, she was relieved to be too late to join in the feast. 

Filch entered the hall behind her, pushing a trolley holding her luggage. There were three very well cared for, silver grey trunks with brown leather edges and straps stacked neatly on top of one another.

“Please lead the way Mr Filch” she said in a curious accent “I do not know where I am going”.  
“Yes Ma’am” Filch replied and heaved the trolley down a corridor leading away from the hall.

 

“Another year, another Defence teacher” James said, taking a seat near the window in classroom 3c. Students filed in all around them.  
“I don’t know how they expect us to learn anything in this unstable environment” Sirius said, his feet already up on his desk next to James  
“God forbid you should learn for the sake of it, Sirius” Lily said putting her books down at the desk at the end of their row, leaving a good five desks between her and Sirius.  
“Hey Lily” James said. Lily sat down, shaking her head at both of them.  
“Hi Lily” Sirius copied, clasping his hands together “please, insult my friends all you like, your hair is pretty”. James sat down  
“Shut up, Padfoot” he said under his breath. “She does have pretty hair though” He said after a moment. Sirius faked a retch. 

“If you are unwell, you should not be in zis class” came a voice from the door. The new professor walked into the room holding a brown leather ledger open. She paused behind the desk and turned to the class who stared back at her.  
“Hm” she uttered. “At Beauxbatons pupils stand before their teachers tell them to sit. You don’t do zis?” she asked.  
“No, professor” Lily responded. The professor surveyed the student and nodded. A piece of chalk rose and began to write in pretty cursive on the board behind her.  
“Professor Regina Mills” it wrote. Some students smiled at this effortless, frivolous, simple but very cool piece of magic.  
“Well I am Professor Mills, I will teach you Defence Against The Dark Arts” she said, her accent only slightly turning towards French. “Your curriculum is fairly comprehensive so you will be pleased to know it will not deviate too much from what you have expected. I will however be adding much more practical work, as zis is a practical subject. Questions?” She stood before the class in dark teachers robes. The room was quiet.  
“Bon” she said “Now please introduce yourselves” she sat behind the desk and nodded at Lily to start. Lily stood.  
“Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor.” She said with a bright smile, her green eyes were friendly and her welcome was genuine “I’m Lily Evans, a Gryffindor prefect. If you need any help finding your way around the castle I’d be happy to help” she sat. Professor Mills nodded her thanks and looked at the girl next to Lily. She stood.  
“I’m Emma Swan” she said. Her sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, her top button was undone and her tie was loose but other than that, her appearance was well maintained. “Gryffindor, though not a prefect I’m not completely useless either” she sat. The professor smiled at her and nodded at the next student and went along the row.  
“Sirius Black” Sirius said “easily the most talented person in the room” he said looking around the classroom “except you of course, Professor” he said in reply to her raised eyebrow.  
“James Potter. I think all the prefect jokes have been made” James said, briefly before sitting.  
“Yeah and you’re not one” Sirius said to him as he sat down.

The class finished their introductions, discussed the curriculum, upcoming work and expectations until their time was up. Professor Mills set their homework, reading and 1 foot of parchment on dementors and the patronus charm for the next lesson.

“Can someone help me find the duelling room?” she asked as she closed her leather parchment carrier and a board rubber scrubbed her name and various other notes from the board. A number of hands went up. Sirius and James scuffled to put eachother’s hands down. The professor looked up.  
“Messrs Potter and Black, if you wish to start a boxing club, my classroom is neither the time or place” in a tone that stopped them both. She looked over at Lily who had her hand up and was looking at her, and Emma whose hand was up too, her elbow balance on the desk as she leant across it laughing at James and Sirius.

“Miz Evans, if you would be so kind”


	2. Chapter 2

Reports of the new teacher spread around the school like wild fire. By the end of the week there were rumours that the cool, funny and undeniably attractive teacher was part veela, though that wasn’t true. 

By the second week of October they were ready put their theoretical knowledge to work.  
“Mizter Black, why are you the only student who not handed in their patronus homework?” Professor Mills asked.  
“Sorry Professor, my dog ate it” Sirius said with a straight face. James did his best to keep from laughing, but it was a poor show.  
“Is that so?” Professor Mills asked. Sirius nodded, not trusting himself to speak. “I was not aware students were allowed to keep dogs as pets at Hogwarts” she said  
“We are” Sirius managed  
“Well then. I will have five house points from Gryffindor until I can verify this with Professor McGonagall, then you may have them back”  
Sirius and James stopped laughing.  
“Sirius!” Emma said from the front row. He pulled a goofy face at her, which made her laugh, through her annoyance.

“To everyone else, very well done on your assignments, I hope you are all happy with your marks. Today is going to be a practical lesson.” The excitement in the students was clear. Grey rain beat against the windows of the dull classroom as the students gathered at the front of the room. With a flick of her wand, Professor Mills pushed all the desks to the walls, some stacked on one another.

“Who has been able to conjure a patronus?” She asked. A few students put their hands up. “Well, that is very impressive. You have all read up on the theory of how to do it, now I would like you all to spread out and give it a go. This is very advanced magic, so give yourselves some time”. The students did as they were told. Some managed streams of blue and white light, and Professor Mills encouraged them as she walked around the room.

“Very nice, Miz Stebbins” the professor applauded Stacey Stebbins who had momentarily produced a lively stoat which ran and fizzled when her concentration broke to sheer surprise. Professor Mills looped the room. Sirius had trouble and she went over to him.  
“Mr Black” she said quietly “to conjur a patronus you must concentrate as hard as you can on your happiest time. It can be anything. A happy childhood memory, your best friends, someone special…” she trailed off. Sirius looked at the floor, embarrassed to be spoken to about his feelings.  
“Whatever yours is, Mr Black, remember it completely. How you felt, what you saw, that feeling in your chest is the key to this spell” she said and left him to think.  
“Very good, Lily!” she said as a doe leapt past her from Lily’s wand. The class stopped to watch it chase around the room.  
“How are you getting on, Miz Swan?” she asked  
“I think this is kind of pointless” she said.  
“Have you tried to conjure your patronus?” the professor asked  
“No. In the situation that a dementor is flying at me, I doubt I’ll have the presence of mind to think about my 10th birthday party or whatever” she said, crossing her arms  
“Emma, come on” Lily said from her side  
“Whether you think it pointless or not, Miz Swan, you are required to participate in class. You will receive a detention if you-“  
“Fine” Emma cut her off  
“Interrupt me again and you will get ano-“  
“Great” Emma said. The class was silent now  
“Another then.” The Professor said  
“Why not make it three?” Emma asked  
“Done” the professor replied. “Class dismissed. Miz Swan, stay behind”  
“I’ll be late for-“ Emma started  
“Then you will be late” The professor cut her off as she put the desks back where they had been with another flick of her wand. Lily squeezed Emma’s hand as she left the room without her. When the classroom was empty but for them the professor closed the door.  
“What is going on, Emma?” she asked the student. Emma was seated and faced out of the window. They waited.  
“This was stupid” she said eventually, failing to hide the lump in her throat as she spoke. She cleared her throat and looked up at the professor.  
“Well I will see you every Saturday for the next three weeks” she said. Emma stood up  
“But that’s the first quidditch match of the year!” Emma said  
“Then you will have learned at least one lesson from this. Sometimes it is more beneficial to you to keep your mouth shut, though it might not feel like it at the time”.

Professor Mills opened the classroom door and called in her next class. Emma gaped at her and stormed out of the classroom, shoving some first years aside in the process.

 

Emma dragged her heels on the way to her detention on Saturday morning. As she approached she saw Professor McGonagall outside the office conversing in French with Professor Mills who was leaning in the doorframe and laughing.  
“Ouais, t’inquiète pas, je te tiens au courant, Minerva” she said and touched her arm, her smile wrapping around the other professor’s name.  
“Emma” Professor McGonagall said as she approached  
“Morning Professor” Emma replied. Professor Mills raised her eyebrows momentarily at Professor McGonagall then headed inside. 

The room was on the ground floor, surprisingly bright with tall elegant windows. There was a desk at one end, surrounded by a bookcase with curious objects and books of all shapes and sizes. There was a tall green vase on the windowsill full of large cream roses whose scent filled the room. Brass lamps hung from the ceiling. There were portraits leant against the wall, presumably awaiting someone to put them up. The wooden floorboards were scrubbed. On another windowsill Emma noticed a circular tube radio, something like one she’d seen in a junk shop in London. There were two cream chesterfield armchairs on the other side of the room, separated by an ornate table.

No longer in her teachers robes, Professor Mills wore trousers and a shiny blue blouse. Emma wore jeans, trainers and a tshirt, covered by a Gryffindor House jumper.  
“Today we’re going to be working on your patronus” she said, closing the door behind Emma.  
“Ugh” Emma exclaimed  
“I don’t understand what your aversion to this is. It is not for fun that I am teaching you this, it is for you”  
“It’s…” Emma almost said what she meant.  
“Personal?” The professor asked, hitting the nail on the head. Emma looked up at her. She twisted her mouth and nodded.  
“Ok” she said, walking over to Emma. “I don’t want to take anything from you, I don’t want to know your secrets, I want to help you defend yourself should you ever need to”  
“Do you think we will need to?” Emma asked. The professor pursed her lips.  
“Who knows what the future holds?” she replied vaguely.

“Can you think of a memory that will help you?” she asked Emma. Emma thought back through her life. Lily, her best friend, her mother and father who were proud of her, her friends at school, scoring goals in quidditch.  
“I guess” Emma said  
“Ok, well let’s go from there”

Emma managed to produce flashes of the electric blue light and Regina encouraged her. After a couple of good attempts they took a break and sat in the armchairs, facing the window.

“So why did you leave Beauxbatons?” Emma asked abruptly, sitting next to her teacher. Regina thought for a moment.  
“They focus a lot on style, aesthetics…” Regina said  
“Ah, I can see that you’re above all that” Emma looked around the room. Regina smiled, accepting the compliment.  
“It was not enough for me” she said. “When I finished school I worked for the French Ministry, then I took a job at Durmstrang Institute. It was not a good match for me, so here I am” she said. Emma felt there was more to the story, but couldn’t bring herself to ask, since it seemed the teacher had already shared more than she would with another student.

After their break was over, they resumed practice.  
“I want to see your patronus” Emma said eventually. Regina thought for a moment. Then took her position in the middle of the room. She closed her eyes. For a moment Emma didn’t think she was going to do anything.  
“Expecto Patronum” she said and a borzoi leapt from the end of her wand and bounded around the room as such speed that following it made Emma dizzy. Then it was gone as soon as it had come.  
Regina smiled briefly.  
“Ok” she said “you have done very well today. I think it is time we got some food”. She opened her office door and pulled a jacket off her coat-stand to wear to the hall. Emma pulled her jumper back on and headed to the door. As she went through, Regina put her hand on her shoulder.  
“I mean it, you did very well” she said again and Emma smiled.

They made small talk on the way to the hall. What subjects Emma liked, who her friends were, how Regina found the castle compared to a palace and how the weather differed. When they got inside they split up and Regina headed for the teacher’s table. Emma joined Lily, Remus and Sirius at the Gryffindor table.  
“How did that go then?” Lilly asked  
“Surprisingly well.” Emma replied “I saw her patronus” she said, helping herself to some dinner  
“Yeah, but did she see yours?” Sirius growled suggestively. Remus rolled his eyes at him and Sirius smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey Professor” Lily said as she and Emma passed Professor Mills in the corridor “Are you lost?”  
“I’m trying to find my way…” Regina pointed to a position on her map.  
“Ah yes, usually you can go this way, but on Wednesdays this staircase” she pointed to the map “Isn’t here”  
“It isn’t here?” Regina asked  
“No” Lily said “It’s…”  
“Over there” Emma pointed helpfully. “So you actually need to find this staircase” Lily moved aside so Emma could point to the map. Though Regina held it out for her to point, Emma stood next to her. She used her left hand to point. Regina looked down at her.  
“Where will I find this?” she asked.  
“I can take you” Emma replied with a smile  
“I have to go to Divination” Lily said, walking away  
“I predict you’ll have a great time” Emma said, Lily laughed and headed away from them both.  
“This is not a joke?” Regina asked.  
“No, look” Emma took her over to where the staircase should be. They were on the fifth floor looking down. After a couple of seconds, one of the staircases did indeed move. Regina gasped. Emma laughed.  
“Ok, lead the way, Miz Swan” she said “Every time I think I’m getting to grips with this castle, it turns out I am completely wrong”  
“I feel that way about Potions” Emma said and Regina laughed. Most students were in classes, the library or their respective common rooms so the corridors were mostly empty.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Emma asked  
“Yes, but I retain the right not to answer it” Regina said playfully  
“What happened at Durmstrang?” Emma asked. Regina sighed, knowing this question was coming from the day she mentioned it.  
“A lot” she said. She had a natural tendency towards the dark and it had been her knowledge, self awareness and honesty about this that had interested Albus Dumbledore in the first place. After a long discussion he had offered her a place at the school, believing she had left the Institute out of responsibility to her students and for her own good, and that this showed a tendency towards good and a reliable nature.

Emma didn’t speak.  
“I am going to tell you this in complete confidence. Even from Lily.” Regina said. Emma nodded.  
“I have a natural attraction to the dark. I don’t know where it comes from, but it is deep and I am susceptible to it” Her words, coupled with her charming accent peaked Emma’s interest.  
“Your headmaster is a very compassionate man. He understands power and how it controls people.” Emma was intrigued. She wanted to know everything about the new teacher but before she knew it they had arrived at their destination.

“Thank you for helping me find this room, Emma. See you in class”  
“Ok” Emma said as Regina walked away from her.

Regina walked quickly with her head up, though she wanted to run into the nearest room and slam the door.  
“Not again” she said quietly to herself. Her heart pounded. She felt a pain in her chest and knew she shouldn’t have answered Emma’s question. She breathed deeply as she made her way to the school greenhouses.

“Pomona” she called to Professor Sprout who was heading into the greenhouse.  
“Good morning, Regina” she replied  
“I was hoping I could have a quiet word with you before you class started, but I was waylaid by a rogue staircase” she said  
“Ah yes, it must be Wednesday. What can I help you with?” Pomona pushed her curly hair from her face and gave Regina her full attention.  
“I wondered when Moly flowers grow here” Regina said quietly  
“Oh, we have them almost all year round” Pomona smiled. Regina was shocked  
“Really? They are so rare in…where I have lived before” she said  
“Do you need some?” Pomona asked. Regina tipped her head from side to side  
“Need? No. I like to keep one among the roses in my office as sort of a…reminder. It’s so easy to get swept up in Defence sometimes” she said  
“Ah of course. I can bring one up to you before dinner this evening.” Professor Sprout smiled  
“Comme c’est gentil à toi!” Regina said, squeezing Pomona’s arm. The other professor didn’t know what she had said, but got the general gist.  
“Pleased to help, Regina!” she said and turned back to the greenhouse. Some of her students had poked their heads round to door in time to see this final exchange, and Professor Sprout’s slightly rosier than usual face.  
“Right then, fanged geraniums, a most underrated plant!” she began, shooing them back into the greenhouse.

“Ah, Hooch’ll be gutted” Sirius said in reply to Remus’ recount of Sprout and Mills at the greenhouses earlier.  
“Sirius, stop it” Lily said  
“What? There’s definitely something going on there.” He said. She rolled her eyes.  
“Remus, did you say what it was she wanted?” Lily asked  
“I didn’t quite catch it, but I don’t think it was a leaping toadstool if you know what I mean”  
“That’s a shame. I hear he’s a fun-gi” Sirius waited for a laugh that never came “you lot have no sense of humour” he said  
“There’s too mushroom in your brain for nonsense” Emma replied. That got a laugh from the table.  
“Fine, I chanterelle you any spore mushroom jokes” He stood up at the table with his arms up. Remus clapped him and even Lily laughed.  
“Fair play, Sirius.” Emma conceded.  
“What did you talk about when you showed her to the greenhouses?” Lily asked, putting salad on her plate while Remus forewent all greenery for meat.  
“Erm. You know” Emma said, scooping mash onto her plate  
“Well, no Emma, that’s why she asked” Sirius said  
“We talked about her master plan to seduce Sprout, ok? God!” Emma said and they all laughed. Emma hoped she had deflected well enough so she wouldn’t have to come back to it.

 

“Good morning, class” Professor Mills said as she entered the room. “Today will be a practical lesson in defensive casting, we will be in the duelling room” She stood holding the door open for the students to file past. The students duelled each other with the intention of learning to defend themselves better. Some students, like James and Sirius were intentionally separated.

“I’ll go easy on you” James said to Lily, who disarmed him in about 10 seconds.

When the lesson ended, Lily made her way to Professor Mills.  
“Professor, this lesson was fun but it seemed a little…dark” Lily said. Regina looked up at Lily’s choice of words. She looked over at Emma who was making fun of James and back at Lily. Did Emma tell her? She knew she shouldn’t have said anything to her. Or had Lily just happened to choose that word? It took a couple of seconds for it to occur to Regina that she might even be right.

“I will take that into consideration for the next lesson” she said eventually “Did you find this useful?” Regina asked  
“Yes, as a form of revision and consolidating things we’ve learned recently” Lily said. There was a ‘but’ in there somewhere but she never said it.

“Miz Swan, a word please” she said as she dismissed the rest of the class. Emma stayed behind.

“Am I in trouble?” Emma asked  
“No, no, not at all” Regina said. There was an awkward pause. “Did you mention…anything that we talked about to anyone?” Regina asked.  
“No” Emma said, disappointed she had been asked. It must have been written on her face  
“Sorry” Regina said “It was just…a coincidence then” she said. Emma nodded, not knowing what she was talking about.  
“See you on Saturday then?” Emma said, turning towards the door.  
“Saturday?” Regina asked with concern.  
“Detention” Emma said  
“Oh. Yes. See you then” Regina said. Emma left the classroom, slightly bewildered.

“What was that about?” Lily asked as Emma came into the corridor.  
“Detention” Emma said as they made their way to potions.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma got to the office in time to see Regina leaving.

“Ah, Miz Swan, could you come back a little later? I have to seek urgent council from Professor Dumbledore” she looked concerned  
“Yeah, are you ok?” Emma asked  
“Ah, yes, fine” she replied. She didn’t seem fine, but Emma thought better than say so.  
“Do you know where his office is?” Emma asked.  
“In theory” Regina said, looking down the corridor.  
“Do you want me to take you?” Emma asked  
“Ah. Je ne suis pas sûre” Regina said to herself. Emma waited.   
“Ok” Regina said, reasoning that it would be quicker just to go with Emma than to wander around looking for the gargoyle she vaguely remembered with her seemingly useless map. They walked quicker than usual.  
“Professor is there anything I can do?” Emma asked as Regina had hardly spoken to her in the few minutes they had been walking. Regina looked at her and shook her head.  
“Do you at least know the password?” Emma asked at the end of the corridor.  
“Yes thank you, I know the way from here” Regina left her suddenly. Emma was stunned. She was at a loss of what to do. When did “later” mean? Did she have time to go and study?

“Albus” Regina said, “I’m so sorry to come to you with no notice”  
“It is no trouble at all, Regina. Please come in. Would you like some tea? I find it calming even in the most unsettling of times” Regina sat and nodded. She had taught at the school known for dark arts, with a reputation for fierceness and certainly she had held her own here, but in Albus Dumbledore’s office she felt like a student running to the head of house for advice. He had the most disarming presence. She took the tea offered and drank with a slightly trembling hand. It did calm her down. He waited patiently for her to start, surveying her over his half moon glasses.

“Albus, I don’t know if I can stay here” she said. He nodded.  
“I believe you are the only person who truly understands your own limits, Regina. You have demonstrated great force of will in your past, great judgement and that you feel protective of your students, even when it is you they must be protected from.”  
Tears came to her eyes as he spoke, though she gulped them back and they went no further.  
“You will leave when you need to” he said philosophically  
“But you will need a new teacher, the year has already begun, how will you find someone?” she asked  
“There is always someone waiting in the wings, Regina. Let me worry about that” he said. She sipped her tea.  
“Do you feel someone’s safety is compromised?” he asked. She thought. ‘Maybe mine?’ She thought about Emma’s disappointment after class the other day, about how she had tried to help her this morning, about the progress she was making with her patronus.  
“No” she said, deciding she was not a threat to any of her students. And Emma was just a sweet girl, and she was her teacher. Albus allowed her time for thought and placed his fingertips together as he watched her work through it in her mind.  
“It’s no longer just the…thing itself” Regina said “It’s the fear of it, it feels like an icy hand around my heart”. He hummed agreement.  
“Indeed, I could not have put it better myself, Regina” he smiled knowingly at her. She felt reassured.  
“Thank you, Albus” she said, standing  
“I have done nothing but sit in your presence while you helped yourself, Regina. I have great trust in you, you must trust yourself” he said.

Regina walked slowly back to her office, thinking over what he had said. ‘He trusts me’ she kept saying to herself.

When she got back to her office, which lead onto her personal rooms she loitered by the flowers on the windowsill. She touched the blue Moly leaves. It reassured her. She looked out of the window to see some students playing muggle ball games on a grassy area in the distance. It was a cold day but the sky was bright blue with few clouds. That reassured her too. She went to lie down.

After a couple of hours there was a knock at her office door. She looked up from the papers she was marking to see Emma’s silhouette.   
“Entrez” she said absent-mindedly  
“You know I don’t actually speak French” Emma said when she came in. Regina had calmed down, focussed on her work and had her head stuck into first year papers, which were a lot of work.  
“You keep speaking French to me. It’s lovely, but I don’t understand” Emma said.  
“Vous comprenez bien” Regina said, without looking up. Emma closed the door.  
“No I don’t” she said. Regina looked up and smiled  
“Très amusant, Mademoiselle Swan” she said. Emma smiled, feeling pretty proud of herself, and sat in one of the armchairs. Regina finished the paper she was working on and put them to one side. She slid her glasses to on top of her head.  
“Right, Emma” she said “time to get started”. Emma got to her feet.   
“I have been thinking about what is stopping me from casting my patronus” she said. Regina walked round to the front of her desk and leant on it.  
“Oh yes?” Regina asked  
“I keep having dreams about a boy” Emma said. Regina was surprised, relieved and somewhere deep down, where she dared not acknowledge it, disappointed. “He’s about 10 years old and he keeps asking me when I’m going to find him. It’s scary but I also feel protective of him”  
“How long have you had this dream?” Regina asked, wondering if it could be subtle dark magic.  
“Since I turned 17” she said “I have it every night. I’ve never told anyone” Regina stayed silent. “I think worrying about him is stopping me casting a patronus” Emma said all this, standing in the middle of the room, looking at the roses on the windowsill with new blue flowers mixed in.

Regina watched her. 

“Thank you for telling me” Regina said. She walked over to Emma.  
“Do you know what it’s like to feel responsible for someone, but scared of losing them at the same time?” she asked.  
“Yes” Regina said from her side.  
“He’s not even real” Emma said  
“He’s real to you. You see him every day, right?” Regina said. Emma nodded and wiped her eyes.  
“You’ve seen him more than you’ve seen me” Regina said “he’s at least as real as I am” Emma turned to her and smiled. Another tear dropped. Regina hugged her. It wasn’t like consoling a child, she had something in common with Emma and she felt like a peer. She shared something with this young woman. She felt it again. She broke away from Emma suddenly.  
“Professor?” Emma asked. Regina looked at the floor.  
“We should get back to, er, work” she said, avoiding looking at Emma. Emma frowned and watched her.  
“What just happened?” Emma asked her. She still didn’t look up.  
“Miz Swan-“ she started to put up a wall  
“Regina” Emma knocked it down. She still didn’t look up. Emma stared at her. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever.

Emma walked to the far end of the room. Regina heard her breathe deeply and breathe out.  
“Expecto Patronum” she said with her eyes closed. Regina looked up. Her wand was up, so was her chin, her face was serene. A swan erupted from her wand and flew around the room.  
Regina clapped, the beautiful spectre spun around her.  
“Emma! C’est ca! C’est fantastique! Vous femme merveilleuse, Emma!” she cried. Emma walked slowly into the middle of the room. The swan ducked and dived around them both. They spun around. They laughed, the more they laughed the more the bird flew, she circled the ceiling and swooped over the desk, they spun around to watch.  
“You did it” Regina smiled at her. The swan faded. Regina watched it die and Emma watched Regina. They were wound up in threads of white and blue light. 

Emma watched the light reflect in Regina’s dark eyes. It was the same light she had seen a few moments ago, but was snatched away. This time Regina held her gaze.  
“That was incredible” she said “you stopped worrying about the boy?” Emma nodded.  
“What memory did you choose?” Regina asked.  
“I didn’t use a memory” Emma said. Regina’s brow knitted.  
“What did you use then?” Regina asked. Emma looked up at Regina. This was her moment, she knew it. She leaned forward and kissed Regina.

Her mind screamed to push Emma back, to stop her, to send her away but she didn’t. Her arms held her, he heart leapt and her lips kissed her back with equal passion. The trails of light in the air around them buzzed and sparked. 

There was a knock at the door and they broke apart. Both struggled to catch their breath. Regina looked at the door. Emma walked to the armchair and sat down quietly. Regina ran her hands through her hair, straightened her blouse and answered the door.

“Minerva!” she exclaimed  
“Hello Regina, I just noticed you were not at dinner and thought I would check in to see how you are. You look a little flushed, are you alright?”  
“Yes, I am, thank you for coming to see me” She smiled at Professor McGonagall “everyone here is so kind and welcoming.”  
“It’s nothing at all. Can I get you anything?” she asked  
“No, no, I’m fine, honestly” she said  
“If you’re sure.” McGonagall turned to leave “Oh Regina” she said, turning back to her. “Emma Swan, did you make any progress?” Regina’s heart froze. Emma didn’t breath but thought her heart must be pounding loud enough for the entire castle to hear.  
“She produced the most incredible patronus, Minerva!” Regina said eventually “would it be too much to award house points for this?” she asked. Professor McGonagall smiled brightly. “Not at all, a hundred or so should do it” Regina laughed.  
“Goodnight Minerva” she closed the door and breathed out. Her heart would start to beat again soon, surely.  
“It’s late” she said to Emma. Code for ‘please leave’. Emma got up and walked over to her.  
“Ah!” Regina said, pointing to Emma’s feet “You stay there”. Emma stopped on the spot, two feet from Regina.  
“Forever, or…?” Emma asked  
“This will not happen again, ok?” Regina said. Emma was silent  
“Emma” Regina warned  
“Goodnight Professor” Emma said, then left the room.

She stalked through the halls, unsure of what had just happened. She entered the common room to the sound of scuffling and a bump and then the sound of two people trying not to breathe. She strode through the room and hopped up the stairs to the girls’ dormitory.  
“Night, boys” she said down the stairs. There was a sigh.  
“Night Emma” Remus replied.


	5. Chapter 5

“So what happened in detention? How come you were back so late?” Remus asked Emma. Sirius may have blushed under his scrubby beard.  
“You know” Emma replied “the usual. I told her my biggest secret, cast an awesome patronus, we made out for a bit and then McGonagall came in and ruined it all” Everyone at the table laughed except Lily, who saw something in Emma’s eyes that gave her away. She might not be telling the truth, but she was not lying either, Lily thought.

Emma hardly ate, though no one but Lily noticed. In classes she had trouble staying awake, but at night she stayed up late pretending to read. Instead of words she saw light reflected in Regina’s eyes. Instead of turning a page she turned her head to escape the image. When she closed her eyes she felt Regina’s lips on hers, her tongue in her mouth, her hands all over her.

Lily was dreading their next Defence lesson. Professor Mills lectured, then set them exercises that they could finish for homework if they did not finish them in class, a guarantee of a silent classroom for the rest of the lesson. She marked papers as they worked. A paper note folded into a crane flitted across the room from James’ desk.  
“James, if you want to share something with Lily, please share it with the whole class” Regina said without looking up. The crane stopped in mid air then glided over to a large glass jar in the corner of the room on top of a bookcase. It was already a third full of notes students had tried to pass in her class. James sighed.  
“Sorry Professor” he said  
“If you were that sorry, James, you would stop doing it” she replied, still not looking up. When she chanced a look at Emma, she saw that her head was down, but not in a working-very-hard-in-class way, more of a this-desk-is-not-a-good-pillow-but-I’m-persevering way. Lily was glancing at her every couple of minutes. She caught the professor’s eye. Her look was of confusion and concern. Regina read in it that this was not the only desk she had been sleeping on. Her blonde curls hung lazily over the edge.

When the class was over she spoke to Emma in front of everyone.  
“Miz Swan, Professor McGonagall insists I attend the first Hogwarts Quidditch match of the season. As such I will not be available for detention. You may consider your detentions completed.” She was prepared for an argument, to insist that her next class was coming in and that she had no time to discuss it, but the fight never came.

“Fine” Emma said, sliding her books from the table and walking out without even looking at her. Lily took a while getting her things together. When almost everyone was gone, she asked the professor if they could talk.

“Make it quick, Lily, my next class is waiting” she said

“Have you heard the story of Dr Frankenstein, Professor?” Lily asked. Professor Mills shook her hear.  
“A muggle story, I guess” Lily said. “A scientist tries to create life. When he succeeds what he has created horrifies him but he can’t undo it. The creature just wants what everyone else around him has, but the way he is treated by society hurts him. They call him a monster, when their actions are what turns him into one.” Lily twisted a ring on her finger looking for the right words.  
“What do you think the message of the story is?” The professor asked her.  
“That once you have created something, how you treat it is more important than how it came about” Lily said honestly.  
“Are you trying to tell me something?” Professor Mills asked  
“I wouldn’t presume to tell you anything, Professor” Lily replied and left the room.

Regina had felt ice in her chest that whole day, the whole week since Emma kissed her and she hadn’t been able or willing to stop her. She had thought about it over and over. The dark side of her crept silently, justifying, reasoning, knowing that she could consume Emma completely and no one would know. But after Emma, then who? The power she craved was the power to twist and hurt someone with ease, but this was not that same power. She hurt herself to protect Emma, but Emma was hurt all the same. She would have to do something.

The day of the quidditch match arrived. Regina enjoyed the camaraderie, the cheers, the excitement in the hall, but the actual game of quidditch she found so deeply boring, that she excused herself within 10 minutes of the start. She walked around the castle. It was silent, save for the odd ghost in the distance or the sound of stairs moving. She looked into the Great Hall, empty. She looked into the library, empty. She wandered down to her classroom, that too was empty. She wandered back to her rooms and on the way saw Emma. 

Emma froze, obviously not expecting to see her. She looked terrible. Her hair was brushed and her weekend clothes were the same, but the life seemed knocked out of her. Her eyes were red and her presence seemed thin.

“Bonjour” she said to Emma, who looked away. “Do you want to talk?” she asked  
“No” Emma said. There was a silence where Emma thought about saying what she needed to, or just walking away.

“I want to pretend you don’t exist” she said faintly “I want to go back to feeling like I belong to myself. I want my appetite back. I want to feel something other than this pain. I want to go back to never feeling anything, like before. The time for talk has passed I think” Emma said. She turned to leave.

“Emma please” Regina said “I am doing my best. I wanted to make this place my home, I wanted to have a home, but this I did not expect” Emma turned back to face her.

“I’m embarrassed by my actions but I am heartbroken by yours. You’re a coward.” Emma said  
“You’re a child!” Regina replied  
“I’m 17! I’m an adult!” Emma argued  
“You’re of age, that is all” Regina said.  
“People are getting married left, right and centre because they don’t know what will happen tomorrow, I just want you to talk to me like I’m a person again and you shut me out. You threw me out of your office and don’t talk to me because I’m honest about this” Emma held up her hands. “I hardly know you and I feel like I’m dying”

“It’s me” Regina croaked. “This, I do this to people. This is the power I am drawn to, the power to control people and make them hurt so they can’t hurt me. It’s just that it has never hurt me before”  
Emma stared at her.  
“I don’t know how to stop it. I just leave when it gets too much. It’s why I left Durmstrang.” She said.  
“But this is different?” Emma asked

They stared at each other in the hallway. ‘This is different’ Emma’s words echoed round her head. She knew they were true, she knew this was something new and scary. What if she lost the dark part of herself for this? Who would she be then? Would she be worse? Would she be normal?

So many conflicting thoughts and feelings rushed into her mind at once but her eyes stayed focused on Emma. 

“This is different” she said aloud after some time. She lifted her wand, the borzoi leapt from it in the direction of Dumbledore’s office.

He stood at the open window listening to the roars from the quidditch match when the great elegant dog leapt into the room. He turned to it and raised his eyebrows enquiringly.

It spoke in Regina’s voice.  
“Albus, please accept my resignation as defence against the dark arts teacher before I do something to sully the good reputation of your school. Thank you for trusting me. I now know I can trust myself.”

He smiled.  
“You have done admirably well, Regina.” He said

Regina stood in the hallway, having heard Dumbledore’s acceptance of her resignation she strode towards Emma, grabbed her hand and pulled her into her old office. The door slammed shut and locked behind them. Emma had to jog a little to keep up. They went through the door to her apartments, then that slammed shut too. Then Regina stopped and turned to Emma.

“Professor? What are you going to do?” Emma asked, so shocked by the sudden change that she almost seemed herself again, if a little unsure.

“I’m no longer your professor, Miz Swan. I am going to have my wicked way with you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was crazy fun to write, and all in one day! Thank you for reading =)


End file.
